During your hair journey, were you ever disappointed with how your hair texture was? I have 4 c hair that's growing out that I think is beautiful, but I can't shake the disappointment that I don't have looser curls. It's silly, but I keep thinking about how I wish my hair could be different. Did you ever have curl envy, and if so, how did you shake it? —by Anonymous
Hey! Definitely. I will be transparent with you here.
After my second my big chop is when I really discovered the world of YouTube for hair care tips and advice for my new hair journey, as well as the popular hair care site BlackGirlLongHair. However, I realised how envious I was becoming when I’d watch YouTube videos or read articles of women with hair that was completely unlike mine—-more loose, very curly, and quite longer than my hair.
Yet, I continued this thinking that my hair could magically one day do the things that their hair could do with time. Instead, those sources only discouraged me and made me dislike my tight curls and coils because I solely concentrate on the things that my hair “could not” do. Then one day, I remember being completely frustrated with myself while reading an article of a natural with looser hair, and being reduced to tears.
And that is when something slapped me across the face. I realised this: Instead of envying women with hair that was unlike mine, why couldn’t I just take steps to love and learn my own head of hair? So that day, I went cold turkey and stopped watching those YouTube videos and reading those articles of women with hair that did not resemble my own. Instead, I focused on learning to love and care for it through trial and error (lots and lots of error indeed).
And that last statement cannot be stressed enough. You have to learn to love your hair. You were born with it, so why not embrace it? If something is hindering you from doing so, then take steps to fix it! You know your triggers—trust me, you do. And remember that our 4C hair is soooooo versatile, probably one of the most versatile of all hair types if I am being honest.
Just because we do not have looser curls, does not mean that we can’t do anything else with it or that it is less beautiful or desirable. :-)